Lifting a Line Writing Strategy – Student Work 🙂
Title: The one and only survivor. (Fiction)
(First sentence lifted from Emily’s journal)
“HONK HONK!!!!!!” It was the sound of a fairy boat ready to sail. I walked up to the huge thing and climbed on board.
The wind made my hair fly all over the place. I was occasionally sprayed with a mist of water. The sun peeked up from the trees which gave me a warm feeling. The ship glided smoothly over the emerald sea.
Oh no! Something just caught my eye.
Life boats are what caught my eye.
Orange, puffy life boats.
People were filed in the boats with life vests on.
I went to see the captain. What was going on?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain George gave a sigh. “THE BOAT IS SINKING!!!!!!!!! GET ON A LIFE BOAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Do not panic.
I was the only one on the ship now.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. OH…………NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The boat was tipping.
“Splash!” I fell into the ice cold sea.
That is what I was thinking. I was going to get frost bite any second. Now it was pitch black. The only thing I could make out were specks of neon orange life boats. Then all of a sudden, the boat fell totally over and crushed the life boats. After that, no specks of orange or people appeared.
The boat was still sinking deep down. I grabbed something floating around.
I could not believe my luck!
The thing that I picked up happen to be two deflated water wings that were strapped together! I quickly blew them up, but I decided to keep them strapped together. Now I could sit on it with only my feet in the water.
Just as the sun rose up, something passed my leg. I was so distracted by this that I fell off my floaty!
What was the thing that passed by me?!!!!!!!! Where was my floaty? !!!!!!!! How did I get so lucky and unlucky?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All these questions stuck to my head like super glue.
Just then, I felt a sharp run down my arm. There were huge teeth marks on it. I looked in the water just in time to see a huge shark with huge teeth, and huge fins!!! I spotted my floaty, but the shark had already teared it to shreds.
I had to face the fact.
I was petrified.
As I was swimming underwater frantically, something hooked me. My head bobbed up. I was close to a fishing dock. But I couldn’t swim any longer. That’s when I started to get reeled in. “This ones going to be a big old fish” I heard someone say in a slangy way.
I finally reached the dock. It was an old man that had hooked his fishing hook on my shirt. I was relieved.
The one and only survivor!!!!!!!!
I yelped and I screamed, and of course, I cried in pain. (Lifted from
Harini’s Coca Cola.) I looked down. Scarlet red blood was
streaming down my hand. Ahh! I was so scared. What should I do?
10 minutes ago.
I got a guava, knife, and cutting board. Mmm. I sat on the couch and
started to cut. I turned the guava, and looked up. Hmm. Should I do my
math homework or my writing…OWWW!!
I yelped and I screamed, and of course, I cried in pain.I looked down.
Scarlet red blood was streaming down my hand. I ran to the bathroom
and put it under the water. My left pointer finger had a big cut which
was leaking every second. Then, I started crying. Wailing. I realized that
my sister could help me. But if I went to get her, I would drip. So I..
As loud as I could. It was deafening. My sisters footsteps were as loud as
ever. I showed and explained. She yelled at me, then lectured me, and
then finally got a cotton ball and stopped the sickening sight. She
cleaned it and put a bandage.
Then, she yelled at me and lectured me some more. And more.
Now, my finger is good. I still need a band aid. And I still clean it and
wash it. But it doesn’t gush blood. But I have to thing one handed, so it
won’t hurt. Oh, well. I might even have a scar. At least I learned my
lesson. Pay A LOT of attention when using a knife and don’t make
mistakes when your mom is out of town. It sounds louder on the phone!
Books are great things.(lifted line from Shruti’s writing. In fact there awesome! Books can take you so many places. Books can make you feel happy. Or there are sometimes when books make you feel sad. Books to can cheer you up when you’re sad.
Books can also take you many different places. These places can be magical or made up. Sometimes you can make connections with a character in the book to real life.
My favorite genres are Realistic Fiction, Mystery, and Fantasy. I can usally make connections to characters in realistic fiction. In fantasy, it’s fun to read about made up worlds. Mystery is my favorite. Nothing is what it seems to be!
Meow! Meow! (From Shruti Patanker’s writing)I loved all animals except
one prowling and ferocious feline. Cats. They were my worst enemy. The
worst of them all. Ever since that little accident that changed my opinion
on household, cute, cuddly cats. I just came back from my friends house.
I was sweltering with heat, so my mom prepared some refreshing
watermelon juice. Just as I saw a tail in the garden. Do gardens have
tails? No probably not but I decided to check.
I saw a cat in the garden since my dad was allergic to household cats I
could not keep the precious beauty, but as soon as went inside to get it
some food my dad started to shout. I knew he was going to sneeze so I
decided to wash my hands. When I fed the cat a little bit of bacon it
prowled, and purred. I thought “what harm could it do if it was in the
garden”, oh but I was going to have my punishment for letting it stay. As
soon as I let go of it it scratched any open skin it could find. That was the
day I found that they were meant to be mean and bad those cats.
Up to that day I have never touched a household kitten or cat ever again.
Instead I pet dogs.
Lifted line from The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan:
Listen, we only have a few minutes. Why? Because deadly gases are roaming the earth, global warming is endangering animals, no thanks to cow gas, and we are not helping at all. Think about it as a giant burning monster rising from the South Pole, going to the North Pole. We need to stop global warming. It’s not even a joke anymore. We have to do something.
Boy, did I get burned! I just felt like joining the Titans in the Titanomachy. I
felt that I couldn’t betray my family. When we lost the war, I had a special
punishment. I didn’t go to Tartarus like the other Titans. Zeus made me
hold up the sky (Uranus) for eternity! I got an even bigger punishment
when Perseus got mad at me and turned me to stone. I turned into the
Atlas Mountain range! I wish I joined the Olympians in the Titanomachy.
A Perfect Day!
“This is the day”.I never thought this would be my perfect day. In the
morning at 11:00, I had a soccer game and my team won 17-0. After that
we celebrated a long time. When I got home I went to the bowling alley
and played with my friends because it was my birthday. I got 5 strikes. I
had cake and pizza. I opened my gifts at home and they were very nice.
Lots of books! Yay! Then I went to my friend’s house and we played
Madden NFL, a video game and we threw his football around in his
backyard. Directly after that we saw a movie, Percy Jackson and the
Lightning Thief. When I went home, I had very good Indian food for dinner.
I went to sleep with happiness inside my tummy. It truly was a long
Muggles fell to there doom. He was after something but what? The new Voldemort perhaps. His name would now be feared. Draco. Draco was after horcruxes not others but his own, and he knew just who to kill, the one who finished THE Dark Lord off. Harry Potter and his pathetic friends Hermione, Ginny and Ron.
At home Albus was pranking Lily, just around the corner and “BOOOOOOO!” Lily did not cry she slapped him. “Ouch!” Harry came in rushing out the door, but it was his day off James was suspicious.
At the Weasley’s house Ron was sleeping in as usual while Hermione cooked breakfast. Harry apparated in. “Did you see the news? It’s Voldemort all over again!” Harry said calmly. “RON WALK UP!” Hermione shouted. “Kids out, out.” Hermione stated.
To be continued…
Line lifted from: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, by Kelly Clarkson.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Every time somebody says “You can’t do it”, it makes me want to prove them
wrong. Make them believe that I can, no matter what they say. Sure, they can
doubt me, but they can’t stop me from showing them otherwise. Sure, I make
mistakes, but I learn from them. They might say “You aren’t good enough”, but I
am as good as anyone else. We all have strengths, and we all have weaknesses.
Weaknesses can be powerful. They can challenge you, and build you up, or they can
tear you down. The critic inside can team up with your weaknesses, and then wreak havoc on you, if you don’t believe that you CAN, or you WILL. What doesn’t kill you makes you more powerful.
Avada Kedavara! (Malia) That will show those spiders. This is my first day at Hogwarts and I am already in trouble. Just because I killed a little spider. I can’t believe that I am going to detention I heard that here detention is serious. I have to go into the Forbidden Forest for one night. I told the Head of Ravenclaw that I was just practicing magic when a Teacher put me into detention so he let me miss detention. That was a close one.
Today I am going to have fun and play so I will not be able to get detention. After I have my fun and the day is done I go to bed peacefully. I think I will write some more about Hogwarts tomorrow.